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This is a transcribed copy of "The Haunted Dollhouse". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Evolution of Craig" Next: "Craig and the Kids Table"
The Haunted Dollhouse Gallery Transcript
Speaker Dialogue
(The episode starts with Craig and his friends are in the clover garden. Kelsey sighs).
Kelsey I don’t know if we’re going to find any magic four-leaf clovers out here, you guys. Anything with actual magic only grows in witch gardens.
J.P. Kelsey, the real magic is having a good attitude. Ah! Voilà!
(J.P. picks up a sock).
J.P. A four-leaf clover… but not quite.
Craig Come on, guys. Get serious. We have to find a four-leaf clover if we want to have a chance at winning at the baby casino. Huh?
(Craig saws a mysterious dollhouse).
Craig Is that a dollhouse?
(Craig, Kelsey and J.P. come to the dollhouse).
Craig That’s weird. What’s a dollhouse doing out here in the creek? Hello?! Anybody drop a dollhouse?!
Kelsey It looks old-timey but fancy.
J.P. Dang. Soup spoons and teaspoons? This house has stuff even my house doesn’t have.
Craig Wow, there’s even a little guy in here. Looks like he was trying to paint a picture.
(Craig sighs).
Craig Artist block. I’ve been there.
(Craig touch the doll).
Craig Keep trying, little guy.
Kelsey Well, this place has a lot of fancy stuff, but one thing it doesn’t have is a four-leaf clover. Let’s keep looking.
J.P. What if we look for two two-leaf clovers, huh? Math? You know?
(Later, a doll is looking. Later that day, the Stump Kids are walking).
Craig Well, that was a bust. We almost had to leave the baby casino in diapers.
Kelsey I found like way out of diapers, and I’m never going back.
(Kelsey and J.P. bump into Craig).
Kelsey Oop! Oof! Craig, what –
Craig It’s the dollhouse.
(A dollhouse approaches at the Stump Tree).
Craig Did either of you bring this back here?
Kelsey No.
J.P. Nuh-unh.
Craig Then how did it get here?
J.P. Maybe someone saw us by it and thought it was ours?
Kelsey I don’t know. That field was empty. This is a little weird.
J.P. This painting is also little and weird.
(A painting next to the doll, has Craig on it. The Stump Kids screaming, running to the bush).
Craig Okay, okay, okay.
(Craig freak out).
Craig Aah! This is crazy. I mean, there has to be an explanation for that painting, right?
J.P. Yeah. It looks amazing.
Kelsey He must practice.
Craig No, an explanation that doesn’t involve a doll being alive. Come on! This has got to be some sort of prank.
Kelsey Guys, look! In the window.
(A doll in the window, the Stump Kids screaming and running. At the Smoothie Groovy, the Witches are discussing).
Tabitha So, seriously, what are we gonna do when you shift ends?
Courtney We could go to Connor’s DJ night.
Tabitha Uh, no. First of all, he’s deejaying at a barbeque buffet. And second, Connor is not goth. He’s just sad.
Courtney Ugh, I wish we were into more stuff.
Tabitha No way. We have stuff. That’s our thing.
Courtney Oh, right. Well, I like you.
Tabitha Yeah, yeah. I like you, too, but this town is so boring. We need something to do.
(The door opens, bell dings, it was Craig and his friends).
Craig Witches, we need help! We – We – We found a dollhouse, and i-i-it has a doll. And we – we – It’s following us.
Tabitha What are you talking about?
Courtney Here, kid. Drink this. It’s a, um, calming elixir.
(Courtney brought a smoothie for Craig, drinks and J.P. drinks it, too).
Kelsey Thank you, kind mystics. What’s in it?
Courtney Celery, kale, ginger –
Tabitha And bat’s blood.
(J.P. blow it from his nose).
Courtney There’s no bat blood.
Craig Okay, so we found this old dollhouse, and it followed us back to our stump. And then the doll inside of it painted a picture of me, and it was really scary.
Courtney Hmm, this dollhouse sounds haunted.
Tabitha Yep, this is a pretty typical case of a dollhouse haunting.
(The Stump Kids gasp).
Craig But why is it following us?
Courtney Probably because it wants something. You see, ghosts are kind of like this glob of peanut butter. They aren’t ready to leave this mortal coil, so they attack themselves to objects from their past and haunt the living until they get what they want… or get put this through the dishwasher.
Craig Oh, no. We’re the living!
Courtney For now. But, yeah, that ghost is gonna keep haunting you until they get what they want.
J.P. Just like ringworm.
Kelsey Scriggith protect us.
Craig Can’t use your magics to get the ghost to tell us what it wants?
Tabitha Uh, communicating with the spirit world is, like, complicated. There are a lot of ghosts out there, and you can’t just go sliding into people’s DMs, you know, spiritually speaking.
Courtney We’d have to know exactly which ghost you’re looking for. Otherwise, it’d be a waste of our powers.
(Craig sighs. Back at the Creek, Craig puts the dollhouse somewhere else).
Craig Now, stay put and wait for some other kid to find you and get freaked out.
(The Stump Kids leave. The next day).
Craig See? We don’t need magic to –
(Craig gasps).
Craig No, no, no, no, no, no!
(The doll is staring. The Stump Kids screaming, running to the bush. Craig breathing heavily).
Craig If we ever want to hang out at the stump again without screaming, we need to figure out who this ghost is.
J.P. Without screaming?! But how?!
Kelsey Hmm, I think I know a place we can find some info on this ghost.
(At the Herkleton Library).
Kelsey Thanks for helping us out, Stacks.
Stacks No problems, Kels. I love a good ghost story and research. Now let us enter the Herkleton Library’s reference section.
(Stacks open the door full of computers).
Kelsey What is this ancient machine?
Stacks It’s a microfilm reader. It lets you look at old newspaper articles stored on strips of film. If there’s some info about this ghost, it’ll be here. We’ll start at the beginning – 1902.
(Stacks look at the film).
Stacks Let’s see. Someone brought an ox. Um, it rained for a bit. Aw, someone’s horse got stuck in a hole.
J.P. Man, a lot happened back in the day.
Kelsey This was Herkleton? There’s, like, nothing here.
Craig Man, it must have been boring to be a kid back then. Who would you hang out with?
J.P. Oxen?
Craig Wait. What’s that?
(Craig look at the film).
Craig It looks just like the dollhouse.
Stacks Hmm, it’s an article about a family – Mr. And Mrs. Rawley and their son, Arthur. Their home was destroyed in a storm, and nothing was left except a dollhouse.
(The Stump Kids gasp. Back at the Smoothie Groovy, Courtney switch the sign from “Open” to “Closed”).
Tabitha Ugh, we are not seriously going to this DJ night, are we?
Courtney Tabitha, I spend all day hawking smoothies to normie gym dads. I need to do something.
(The Stump Kids comes to the Witches).
Craig We have a name! The ghost’s name is Arthur Rawley. He used to live in Herkleton until –
J.P. Until he got ghosted!
Kelsey But literally!
Craig Witches of the Creek, now that we have a name, can you please use your powerful powers to help us communicate with the spirit?
Tabitha Scaring these kids will be way more fun that Connor’s dumb DJ night.
Courtney Yeah, Connor can kick rocks. Okay, we shall use our powers to conduct a séance.
Tabitha But harnessing such powerful magic will require some sacrifices.
J.P. M-Me?
(Tabitha laughs evilly).
Courtney No.
Tabitha Aww.
J.P. Oh.
(At night, the Stump Kids show the Witches the dollhouse).
Tabitha Whoa, that is creepy.
Courtney Tabby, I think I hate this.
Tabitha I think I hate these kids.
(The Witches pack their stuffs).
Courtney Okay, babies, gather around and make a circle.
(The Stump Kids make the circle with the Witches).
Tabitha Now present your sacrifices.
(The Stump Kids brought their toys).
Spikey Spectre I’m ready to kick your booooo-ty.
Tabitha Place them within the circle.
(The toys are in the circle. The Stump Kids whimpering).
Courtney To the spirit of Arthur Rawley we must speak, so we begin this séance in the creek.
Tabitha Oh, evil doll –
Courtney Hey, don’t be judgy. We don’t know for sure if it’s evil.
Tabitha Oh, you’re right. Oh, morally ambiguous creepy doll, speak to us if you are so inclined.
Courtney If not, a simple knock will do. “No” is one and “yes” is two.
Tabitha Oh, spirit, are you the one they call Arthur Rawley?
(The knocking twice. J.P. gasps).
Craig That means yes.
Tabitha Arthur, tell us, is this your dollhouse?
(The knocking twice. Kelsey whimpers. The Witches chuckling).
Courtney Wait. I got a good one. Oh, spirit, we beseech thee. Tell us. When you become a ghost, are you stuck in one pair of clothing, or can you change outfits?
(Tabitha snickers).
Tabitha Okay, wait. Wait. Listen to mine. Spirit, am I the most beautiful witch in the creek?
Craig No!
Tabitha Hey.
Craig We’re here to find out what this ghost wants. Arthur, please just tell us why you’re haunting us.
The ghost I want to play. I want to play.
(All of them screaming).
Witches Are you doing this? No!
(The Witches cling).
Craig You want to play? Of course. This dollhouse must have been your only friend. When you were a kid, Herkleton was just a couple houses and an ox. You must have had no one around to play with.
(Craig is getting close to the dollhouse).
Kelsey Craig, no!
J.P. Don’t do it!
(The door open, reveal the doll. The light goes black).
Tabitha What the – What happened to the flashlights?
(The light blinks, Craig saw the doll named Arthur Rawley, is now a ghost. All of them screaming).
Arthur Uh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.
J.P. Well, you went about that terribly!
Arthur I’m sorry. I’m just really shy. You helped the doll when you found my dollhouse yesterday, and you all seemed so nice. I was just hoping to play with you.
Kelsey It’s okay, but you could have just told us. We love playing.
J.P. Yeah, we’re huge play-heads.
Arthur Really? Most kids don’t like playing with dolls.
Craig No way. We’d love to play dolls with you.
Arthur Aw, gee. That sounds swell. Would you like to come play in my house?
J.P. Oh-ho-ho, yeah. My Ben doll has always wanted to be a homemaker.
Tabitha Wait, so, like, is that kid a ghost or not?
J.P. Hope you guys worked up an appetite, because Ben is gonna cook up some grub in the kitchen.
(J.P. used the doll to break the kitchen).
J.P. Uh-oh.
Kelsey And Obsidian’s gonna play some harp. Oops.
(Kelsey used the doll to break the harp).
Craig Kelsey, you got to be more careful playing.
Spectre Spike Spectre spike.
(Craig’s action figure shoot spikes at the window).
Craig O-Oh, my gosh. I’m so sorry, dude.
J.P. Uh-oh, uh, Ben doll started a grease fire again.
(Arthur growling softly, his eyes roll up and the light goes black).
Craig Aah! Who turned out the lights?
(The lights went back on).
J.P. Hey, where are our dolls?
Craig And where’d the dollhouse go?
Kelsey That kid is gone, too.
(The Witches share their kiss).
Courtney Oh, hey. Where’d that other kid go?
Craig I don’t know. Maybe he was actually a ghost.
J.P. Or we’re just really annoying to play with.
Craig I guess we’ll never know.
(Tabitha laughs evilly).
Tabitha You kids need a ride home or what?
(The episode ends).


ve Episode transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 "Itch To Explore" • "You're It" • "Jessica Goes to the Creek" • "The Final Book" • "Too Many Treasures" • "Wildernessa" • "Sunday Clothes" • "Escape from Family Dinner" • "Monster in the Garden" • "The Curse" • "Dog Decider" • "Bring Out Your Beast" • "Lost in the Sewers" • "The Future is Cardboard" • "The Brood" • "Under the Overpass" • "The Invitation" • "Vulture's Nest" • "Kelsey Quest" • "JPony" • "Ace of Squares" • "Doorway to Helen" • "The Last Kid in the Creek" • "The Climb" • "Big Pinchy" • "The Kid from 3030" • "Power Punchers" • "Creek Cart Racers" • "Secret Book Club" • "Jextra Perrestrial" • "The Takeout Mission" • "Dinner at the Creek" • "Jessica's Trail" • "Bug City" • "Deep Creek Salvage" • "The Shortcut" • "Dibs Court" • "The Great Fossil Rush" • "The Mystery of the Timekeeper" • "Alone Quest"
Season 2 "Memories of Bobby" • "Jacob of the Creek" • "Return of the Honeysuckle Rangers" • "Kelsey the Elder" • "Sour Candy Trials" • "Fort Williams" • "The Other Side" • "Summer Wish" • "Turning the Tables" • "Kelsey the Author" • "Council of the Creek" • "Sparkle Cadet" • "Cousin of the Creek" • "Camper on the Run" • "Stink Bomb" • "Evolution of Craig" • "The Haunted Dollhouse" • "Craig and the Kid's Table" • "Creek Daycare" • "Sugar Smugglers" • "Sleepover at JP's" • "Tea Timers' Ball" • "The Cardboard Identity" • "Ancients of the Creek" • "Mortimor to the Rescue" • "Secret in a Bottle" • "Trading Day" • "Crisis at Elder Rock" • "Kelsey the Worthy" • "The End Was Here" • "In the Key of the Creek" • "The Children of the Dog" • "Jessica Shorts" • "Ferret Quest" • "Into the Overpast" • "The Time Capsule" • "Beyond the Rapids" • "The Jinxening"
Season 3 "The Other Side: The Tournament" • "The Ground Is Lava!" • "Council of the Creek: Operation Hive-Mind" • "The Bike Thief" • "Craig of the Beach" • "Plush Kingdom" • "The Ice Pop Trio: Creek Street" • "Pencil Break Mania" • "The Last Game of Summer" • "Trick or Creek" • "Fall Anthology" • "Afterschool Snackdown" • "Creature Feature" • "King of Camping" • "The Rise and Fall of the Green Poncho" • "I Don't Need a Hat" • "Alternate Creekiverse" • "Snow Day" • "Winter Break" • "Snow Place Like Home" • "Breaking the Ice" • "Winter Creeklympics" • "Welcome to Creek Street" • "Fan or Foe" • "The New Jersey" • "The Sunflower" • "Craig World"
Shorts "Craig of the Car" • "How Was Your Day?" • "The Williams Family Opening Theme Song" • "How to Map the Creek" • "Creek Kid Rap"
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