|"Gotta map it!" |
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|Children of the Dog||Gallery||Transcript|
Craig, Kelsey, and J.P. are hanging out in the stump while J.P. and Kelsey show off what their pets can do. Kelsey regurgitates some birdseed for Mortimor while J.P. shows videos of his cat Goo. Craig feels a bit left out as he does not have a pet, so they leave the stump looking for adventure. They run into posters on trees, and the posters lead them to a stage where dog-obsessed Brigid comes out of the curtains. Kelsey, J.P., and Craig recount their last encounter with her. She then starts singing the song, “Everybody Needs a Dog (in Their Lives)”. Craig becomes enamored with the song due to him not having a pet, and persuades J.P. and Kelsey to give her program a chance.
She gives a seminar about raising a pet, then tells the audience to practice caring for a dog, they will take care of her. This runs into a montage of everyone taking care of Brigid as she acts like a dog, having Craig and the Fredites groom her, give her treats, carry her around, and clear her doghouse. After a week of this, Craig wakes up feeling sore. He hears a dog barking and assumes his parents got him a dog, so he runs downstairs only to find Jessica playing with a toy to learn animal noises. He goes up to Brigid, practicing singing, and tells her that he hasn’t gotten a dog yet. She gives him a bone-shaped bag holder often used to store dog poop bags. Inside are tissues with the phrase “I want a dog”. She tells him to only say these words or it will not work. This leads to Craig saying the phrase over and over again, leading to his family believing he‘s either having problems with his hearing or having a psychotic breakdown. His family takes him to the emergency room where he still wouldn’t stop repeating the phrase, still believing he‘d get a dog.
After that happens to him, he begins to realize that Brigid was tricking him and the Fredites into taking care of her. Since he believes something is shady, they follow Annie, the “most recent graduate” of the program, to see if the dog is really hers. Craig, J.P., and Kelsey find out that Annie is just a dog walker. After getting this revelation, they get captured by the rest of the former “Fredites”. Waking up inside of a dog crate teetering over a rock beside the Creek, Brigid reveals that she started the program for kids like herself who aren’t allowed to get pets of their own. Craig has Kelsey regurgitate more birdseed to put on the hinges of the cage so that Mortimor pecks it and free them. They escape just before the cage falls into the Creek.
They arrive in the middle of a pinky swear ceremony, the “most unbreakable kid oath”, where Brigid tells them to do whatever she says. Craig stops the ceremony and reveals to everyone that the whole program is an excuse to do things for Brigid. Brigid, being revealed, goes behind the curtains to put on a dog costume. She says that the dog they were waiting for was her, where she runs around on all fours, with her tongue out like a dog, panting. The other program members just treat her like a normal dog, by petting her, surrounding her, and talking to her like a dog, while Craig and his friends are just weirded out by this. This whole event makes Craig realize that he doesn‘t need a dog, as he feels satisfied with just having his friends.
- The title is of this episode is a reference to the 1984 Sci-fi Mini-Series Children of the Dog Star.